Now I Wish Obama Really WAS Organizing Death Panels

Please God (and by "God" I mean Obama), give us the death panels! I'll gladly take the private option owned by Marriott if you'll just make them legal!

I've always suspected that people this stupid actually existed --- but only on a theoretical level, like quarks or wealthy white gay "progressives". Obviously I've seen Fox news, but I guess I never allowed myself to seriously entertain the possibility that Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly are actual flesh and blood human beings. The few times I've actually watched Fox news, it was like watching that movie Slime Creatures From Outer Space. It was just too preposterous to be real, like the guests on Jerry Springer or Pentecostals.

Wait -- maybe that movie was actually a Weird Al song.  Can you tell that I was one of the popular kids in junior high?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is disconcerting to be confronted by such irrefutable evidence of the boundless depths of puerile American  lunacy.

The stupid fuck holding this sign really doesn't know what he or she is protesting. I suppose Glenn Beck started sobbing on live TV or something, and this waste of perfectly good nostril hair decided to join the fray.

I'm still quite dumbfounded by the sign. It actually says, "don't steal from the public option to support a public option".

No.  Okay, just NO!

I simply refuse to believe anyone that dumb has enough viable gray matter to breathe, swallow, and fart--let alone walk and carry a sign at the same time.

A brilliant blogger recently remarked that he was starting to think that eugenics got a bad rap. It's difficult to disagree with him after seeing this un-fucking-believable sign.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: America is a giant Baptist trailer park and Washington DC is its meth lab. What these idiots don't realize is that Obama is the maniacal capitalist cook.


I would like to say to the person holding this sign,

"Relax. You don't have to worry about socialized medicine in your lifetime --- including Medicaid and Medicare, which that "socialist" fucker Obama intends to reduce to a skeletal afterthought. When it comes to socialized medicine, Obama is on your side (I think). Soon, the debate over socialized medicine will be a faint memory, and neo-con capitalism (i.e., socialism for the rich) will have triumphed once again. Never again will you be haunted by the specter of the pseudo-possibility of almost affordable health care.  You will never have to worry that the n*gger president will force you to receive health care from some socialist 'public option'. Nope! Instead, you will be required by law to purchase a private option, even if your dumb ass can't afford it. And if you dare to bitch about it, I will personally see to it that your genes are eradicated from the gene pool."

There are countless reasons to protest Obama and express rage against the plutocratic interests he represents. I fully support hatred of Obama...as long as you actually know why you hate him and it's not because he's a "nazi" or a "socialist" or a "communist" (hell, the last two words aren't even real epithets for fuck's sake).

With each passing day it becomes increasingly obvious that most of these mayonnaise sandwich-eating crackers who use those words haven't the slightest clue what they mean...They just lack the courage to hold up a sign in public with the word they really want--but are too chickenshit-- to use. And they certainly all know what that word means.

Take another look at that sign. 

Now, marvel at the fact that the human race managed to survive natural selection and develop opposable thumbs.

Sphere: Related Content